Tag: reflection

Everyone has heard it: “You don’t always have to be right.”  This particular phrase has been around for a while.  And though I generally try to come up with unique content, I thought this one was due a reunification with the globetrotters out there.

Not always being right is a notion that has served me well many times on the road.  In fact, I can recall several instances of sitting at some train station somewhere and looking up from my book to see someone who hadn’t quite hammered in this ideology.  And there they were, quibbling over some mundane detail of their itinerary with their partner (or worse; the conductor).  They’d go on and on about how they were right and the other person was wrong.  They’d throw their hands up and raise their voice.

But does it really matter that much if you spent three extra dollars on your last meal?  Could it be that terrible that you could have visited the beach instead of the mountains?  And when was the last time that you honestly gave a crap about eating a bad meal one time out of hundreds?

You saved up money for this trip – spend it.  You came here to see new things – beaches or mountains or waterfalls or whatever: it’s all a bonus because you haven’t seen it before.  And you can always choose something else on the menu next time.  But for now, you know what broiled cobra tastes like in Vietnam.

Many times we get so caught up in the confusion of time tables and the frustration of possibly over-spending that we seem to lay all the rest to the wayside.  This is even more profound a sentiment when traveling with a romantic partner.  Along with stripping away the tools in our “back-home tool boxes,” traveling also strips away our politeness and patience.  So we’re left exposed as the real people that we are inside.

Having this knowledge beforehand will undoubtedly serve us well as we gallivant the globe.  But there’s also something more.  We should take with us those lessons, but also remember that it’s not so much important to be correct in every decision that we make on the road.  We’ll make many bad decisions before we’ve found out how to be comfortable in this new place.  We’ll eat the wrong food, spend way too much on this thing or that thing, we’ll make the wrong turn on the map and wind up in the opposite direction and we’ll even look around us and truly believe that these people just have it in for us and they want us to fail.

The key to letting go of all of these inevitably frustrating circumstances is to understand that there are, many times, situations that we simply can’t control, have foreknowledge of or be able to do right the very first time.  And even if we did know everything we needed to know, we don’t have to be so callous as to gloat about it or deride others in an effort to simply prove ourselves right.

After all, when we look back on a situation from the point in time where we have concluded our time on that particular road, we’ll only remember these frustrations as times that taught us to be the person we are today.

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Like this photo from this journal? Check out the album HERE.

My new book, Insights from the Pavement, is a collection of 101 Travel Oms just like this one. Look for it to be released soon.

Join the conversation, tell me what you think about this idea. Leave your comments below.

Many times in our lives, we feel compelled to take on the perspective of someone who should be sorry for circumstances that often are not our fault.  This happens for a variety of reasons.

Sometimes it’s to simply alleviate pressure from a tense situation, sometimes it’s to avoid a conflict.  Most of the time, it’s just to take a detour around continuing what could otherwise be an uncomfortable situation.

Whatever the case in each situation that this takes place, we can be sure that we need to begin to be mindful of how often we use this tack.

As many a traveler will say, sometimes we make decisions that land us in a less than optimal situation.  Not only is this inevitable due to our inability to read every circumstantial element around us, to know the future and to understand the agenda or motivation of those around us; it’s also necessary.

As we travel on the physical plane from place to place, or on the metaphorical plane from situation to situation, we are undoubtedly faced with situations where there are endless motivating factors that may, at times, work against us to create difficult conditions.  But while it’s impossible to know the end results of every possible choice we might make in these situations, it is possible for us to be conscious of how we internalize them.

While traveling, we bump into one another, intrude on privacy, interact with resentful, uneducated or even deeply ethnocentric people who may be displeased simply by our presence in their homeland.  But in all of these cases, it is never about you as a person.

If we think back to the last time someone cut us off while driving or gave us a dirty look at the grocery store, we can, with great certainty, recall that we didn’t know these people – it was a random passing of a stranger with whom we didn’t share any previous negativity.  This may not have stopped us from being deeply offended by their actions.  But, just as we don’t know enough about the other person to have anything personal against them, we should always keep in mind that this was not personally directed at us.  And these actions speak more to their place in life than our own.

Having been to enough places to realize that I may not be wanted in the host country, I have come to realize that it is not me that they don’t want in their town.  It’s simply a foreigner that they don’t want around.  And this takes a lot of the pressure off me to feel sorry for having offended someone for having done nothing other than be present.  And looking back on these times, the prejudices of others have never burdened my travels, but rather reminded me of how the next visitor to my home might feel if I am less than welcoming.

After all, how much could simply your presence possibly offend someone?  There’s almost always something else at work.  And it’s rarely your self that is the problem.

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Like the photo from this journal?  Check out the album HERE.

Insights from the Pavement is a new style of blog that I am trying out.  These will be posted a couple times per week for the next few months.  And I am interested in what my readers and passersby think of them.  So be sure to let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

One of the many pleasures of travel is that it takes us out of the daily grind, removes us from the office and whisks us away to a new and exciting place.  The joy that comes to us even before we leave is largely centered on that very idea.  And as our travel date approaches we often find ourselves lost in our thoughts of what this change from the norm will provide for us.

It is a naturally occurring phenomenon that we as a species need bouts of change in our routine.  For some, this change needs to be constant and continuous.  For others, only a random smattering of island hopping over the course of a decade will do.  But for most of us, breaking up the routine is something best timed on a yearly basis.

This begs the question; how do we know what kind of change and in what quantity is good for us?

My experience of resisting the urge to shake things up from time to time has left me feeling empty and anxious – needing something more.  Once I learned what that feeling was, it was easy to keep track of the pattern and how to plan for heading it off at the pass.

Of course, this particular rationale has the potential to help us deal with other patterns in our lives.  But it’s safe to say that working on overcoming restlessness and satiating our hunger for discovery will assist in taking care of many of these other needs that our bodies are sure to tell us about.

While on the road, there is nothing resembling the schedules that we hold in our at-home lives.  So it’s easy to see how this affords us a clear view of what’s left behind when the road has finished stripping away all that may have confused the message that our body was trying to convey.

So how do we come to understand these messages while still in our everyday grind?  The best option that I have come to find is ironically a time when I placed myself back into my at-home patterns through meditation.

While spending three sweltering days meditating with Zen monks at a monastery in Southern Thailand, I came upon a mental clearing which wasn’t easy to find, mixed in with all the rubbish that I hadn’t attended to in years.  I found that my body had missed the comforts of a well-planned routine.  And because I’d been traveling for many months by that time, I had never thought to look back into my old life where I was locked into a pattern devoid of any creativity.

In this routine, I’d wake up, do my morning stuff, prepare for work, head out and come home with the hope of having enough energy of making it through a movie before I passed out and awoke to do it all over again.

As mundane and underwhelming as that sounds, my body came to know it as a facet of safety for me.  If I had to plan each day from scratch knowing that I was in a new place with new eating, traveling and working schedules in the lives of the locals, my routine back home would serve me no benefit whatsoever.  And so because I was lost in this months-long pattern of incessant planning, practicing and executing, I never took time to notice that I’d given up that feeling of safety for my experiences on the road.

Perhaps it’s difficult to understand the dynamic that exists in this particular situation.  But simply put, my body was freaking out at what seemed to be a never-ending cycle of input without any sense of structure.  And in this way, I could see how the exact opposite would be true of my life in the rat race.  I’d have the same messages from my body, except they would be about the notion of needing something to break up that incessant regularity.

Having the right balance of roots and wings will do us the most good in finding out what and when our bodies are telling us important things.  Sitting quietly and making time to reflect on our day or week will create the best opportunity for us to listen to ourselves, to become in tune with the oscillation of our ins-and-outs, ebbs-and-flows and tos-and-fros.

Being able to whisk away and find adventure in the limitless dreamscape of the mind aids us in times of rest, while centering on inaction and motionless peace drives a ground rod through our chaotic moment on the move.  And in that, balance can be achieved anywhere we happen to be, simply by creating chaos out of quiet and stillness from disorder.

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Like the photo from this journal?  Check out the album HERE.

Insights from the Pavement is a new style of blog that I am trying out.  These will be posted a couple times per week for the next few months.  And I am interested in what my readers and passersby think of them.  So be sure to let me know your thoughts in the comments section.