Insights from the Pavement: Detouring Outside Control

Often when we travel, we are faced with situations in which we really don’t know how to act. And every so often what we do in these situations is not seen in the most positive or pleasant light.

When faced with a situation most of us would be uncomfortable or unfamiliar with, our first reaction may be to smile, to make an open gesture with our bodies or hands, or to altogether look for an escape. And in many cases, this could signal a variety of responses from out onlookers – not all of which are good.

In this way, travel is a metaphor for a larger lesson in our lives that might help us to prevent the reactions of others, to impact our actions or feelings at home. Because, as our attention may be acutely focused on the reactions of others, we are also keenly aware of how our friends and family will react to us in our own communities.

It’s tough, sometimes, to say or do things that we know others might not like. But if we concentrated all of our actions on what we thought others might think of them, we’d likely never act at all.  And allowing the opinions of others to control our lives, even in small ways, is never good.

What matters in this life is not what others think of us. It’s what we think of ourselves that’s most important. In fact, the more positively we think of ourselves, the more likely we are to act in ways that might seem bold or adventurous to others. And we will begin to see ourselves taking chances that we would have never taken earlier for fear of what others might think.

Of course, this activity is limited only to positivity and that which doesn’t adversely affect others. Abrupt, negative, angry actions made against others may also be seen as bold and adventurous too. But positive actions are those which harm no one – including ourselves. And when seen in this way, the negative comments others made in response to our actions, is their version of negativity – not ours. And it in fact, more likely reflects their own self-consciousness or lack of personal strength because that’s the exact message that they are projecting.

When we resolve to make decisions that make our lives better while not affecting (or positively affecting) others’ lives, we’ve chosen to carve our own path out of this life and seek only that which makes us happy.

After all, the more we do what is best for ourselves, the better equipped we are to make a greater impact on our lives. We will be stronger, bolder, more adventurous versions of our once-selves. And we will see this mindset grow exponentially as we offer ourselves bigger, bolder, more adventurous lessons in the future.

Insights from the Pavement: Do What Makes You Happy

We’ve all heard our parents say this at one time or another. And there’s good reason for that. Most of the time, when we engage in activities that bring us pleasure, we exude that feeling to others. It’s quite addictive, and it promotes an environment of pursuing our own forms of pleasure.

Generally people don’t travel to be frustrated by the outside world. Traveling is all about happiness. We seek out new places to gain an understanding of something new or to challenge ourselves to achieve a new goal. And we made the decision to explore because we looked forward to the pleasure that it would bring us.

But even at home, in our daily lives, while making important decisions, we should always remember that our happiness is still paramount.

To harness the power of our happiness, most of us form a community of like-minded friends, take on a job that is both challenging and rewarding, or contribute to a general climate of circumstances which most suits our personalities.

No matter what lies down the road, if we’re not happy, we’ll likely give up on our pursuits. We can live on a luxurious yacht floating atop crystal clear water and overlooking pristine beaches. But if that’s not what we enjoy, or it’s not the right time, it may as well be an inner-tube atop a puddle in a chemical waste dump in sub-Saharan Africa.

Our lives will always be full of choices. But if we base our decisions on something other than happiness, the outcome will be limited to that which motivated us in the first place. For instance, we might make less money in the long run if we take a new job that pays more, but which we quit because we can’t stand going to everyday.

On the other hand, if we place our happiness at the forefront of our decision-making, the one thing that we’re sure to have as a minimum is just that. And from then on, everything else which is gained from this decision will simply be a bonus.

Trusting in our happiness is always going to suit us best in the long term. If our decisions affect a partner, ensure that the collective happiness is always the main consideration, ensuring that we offer the deepest, most honest representation of our wants before coming to a mutually beneficial decision.